Friday Quickie - Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland Paris
Not just a ride. A Disney ride. And perhaps the best Disney ride.
Big Thunder Mountain with the mine-train tracks snaking round it.
The first time me and the missus visited Disneyland Paris was in 1995 when Daughter #1 was seven and Daughter #2 just five.
For old Disney-heads, this was just after the Park had changed its name, and there was plenty of Eurodisney merchandise left, most of which we bought.
We have it all in hermetically-sealed containers in a secure location. It’s our hedge against the inevitable day the bottom drops out of Bitcoin.
And rest assured, my friends, that day will come, and memorabilia will take its place as the de facto World currency.
I’d stake my collection of 90s Happy Meal toys on it.
That visit to Disneyland Paris (I shan’t dead-name it) was a candidate for the best week of our lives up to that point.
It began a family obsession - some may say it has the trappings of a religion - which continues to this day and has been passed down to the grandkids.
And most adherents to the European Orthodox branch of the Church Of The One True Mouse agree on the best ride in the Park. 1
Big Thunder Mountain is the best ride at any theme park I have been to before and since, and I will personally shun any Unbeliever who says otherwise.
A note for full-on adrenaline junkies. Take heed. This will not feed your addiction for a mind-blowingly scary thrill ride. The emphasis here is on creating a believable environment around the ride, more than the ride itself, which, while it packs a punch, isn’t exactly the wildest rollercoaster in the world.
It isn’t even the wildest rollercoaster in the North of France. That honour goes to the absolutely terrifying Zeus coaster at Parc Asterix.
I’m not sure if safety restrictions have improved down the years but between the worrying clack-clack-clack of the slats on the track (wooden, in the grand tradition, if you please) and the lack of any over-the-shoulder protection to stop you falling out, ths missus and I were scared for our lives.
Daughter #1 loved it though, so one of us had go on it a second time with her. And so it fell to Big Brave Dad to swallow his fears and accompany Smaller Brave Daughter #2.2
See photo below for why neither of us was that keen on a repeat ride.
The original Zeus coaster at Parc Asterix in northern France. Even scarier than it looks here.
One of the reasons why Disney have traditionally led the field in theme park entertainment and much else besides is the absolute conviction behind each film, each cartoon, each plush toy and each theme park ride. There is always a backstory, which is not always made 100% clear, but there are clues if you want to find them.
In the case of Big Thunder Mountain, the mine you go careering through on a runaway mine train is said to be haunted by the spirits of dead engineers after a terrible accident back in the day.
It is hard to describe how immersive Big Thunder Mountain is. Disney take a pride in making their Attractions special in terms of sights, smells and sounds, and Big Thunder Mountain is one of the finest and most visceral experiences on offer anywhere.-
As you whizz round the mountain you see people waving frantically at you from the big steamboats3 and the Phantom Manor attraction over the water as you whizz round and the various pieces of railway machinery and animals by the mine entrance (Billy the Goat is a particular favourite). You smell gunpowder then fire as there is an explosion in the mine. You hear somebody shouts “Fire In The Hole”, which is not a reference to the strength of the chilli4 at the nearby Cowboy Cookout restaurant. And the music of the Old West is everywhere.
This is the best Youtube vid I could find, blissfully free of any redundant commentary.
Big Thunder Mountain - Full Ride
Those who disagree shall be branded heretic and thrown into the deepest pit of Hell where everything smells of burnt candyfloss and the vomit of small children, and itsasmallworld plays on a 24/7 loop.
Full disclosure. The missus insisted, and I was more scared of her than I was of the ride.
What IS it about theme parks that make people wave at each other? It doesn’t happen in any other entertainment situation I can think of.
Tasty but mild, if you’re wondering.
Thanks for such a treat💙